A Quick Anecdote (Part III)

Beep, beep!
Beep, beep!

Someone's at the door? At this hour? Who could that be? Che Wan asking for my Thermo homework maybe? Luqman wanting to watch Ruroni Kenshin anime perhaps? Rafique bringing along his tabligh brothers for a visit probably? Jabir to see Mamat about the MechE robot project, I guess? Kamal coming for something to eat again, is it?

Beep, beep, beep.
"I'm coming, dammit!"

Beep, beep, beep.
"Hold your horses!"

Hm. Doesn't look like someone I know of. Not even a Malaysian. Or is he? Nah. Too fair to be a Malaysian, and too tall also. Oh shit. He's looking at me now. Who the hell are you, man? And what's that in your hands? Hey, what's with the smile there, buster? I am not your buddy, dude. No way. Sorry, but I don't know you, my friend.

"Yes?"
"Somebody ordered pizza?"
"Who?"
"Mushroom pizza, right? For apartment 102?"
"No, not really."
"Is that a 'no' for the pizza...?"
"Yes."
"...or for the apartment number?"
"No."
"(Sigh) Are you from 102?"
"A-huh."
"Did you order a pizza, sir?"
"No."
"Maybe one of your roommates did?"
"Let me check."

What in the hell is this racket, man? Who ordered a goddamn pizza? Mamat? He's been in his room for hours since tarawikh, working on his robot thingy, right? Pyan? He's studying with his Colombian lab partner at the EE/CSci lounge, isn't he? Anas? He's fast asleep on the couch, yes? Mizi? He's on the phone with his woman since two hours ago, correct? So, who?

Did I order a pizza? Of course not, you pussy. I was watching my pumpkin pie, Alexis Bledel on the Gilmore Girls all this hour. So, again, who? And why are you walking back to your apartment, you silly faggot? There's no need; no one ordered nothing. This pizza dude is whack. Big time.

"Nobody ordered a pizza."
"Are you sure?"
"Nah. Sorry."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"My mistake, then. Sorry for the trouble."
"No problem."

Haha, haha. Poor little bastard. Just doing your job, eh? Trying to make ends meet, perhaps? Working off your college loan, yes? Haha. How pathetic. What a dumbass idiot. Cocksucker moron. White trash. Crack whore. Lilly-arse gimp. Goat dildo. Piggy-ride...

"Lalat, pizza aku dah sampai dah?"

[by YBLalat - who then bought a mushroom pizza himself. It was actually Pyan's pizza at the door. He ordered it before going to his study, hoping that there will still be some left when he arrives home. (Yeah right, tough luck for him.)]