[Pieces of Fuck: Part 2]
by YBLalat

"No wonder the non-existent response."

Last Thursday, I hinted to you in my entry that I was going to unleash hell via a meticulously-planned prank that I dubbed 'The Greatest, Naughtiest Prank Ever to be Done' (so much for the name). The reason for doing one is, well, nevermind that but the important thing is, I am not sure whether or not it did happen. Don't understand the slightest thing that I am saying? Well...

Sometime around midnight on Thursday, I thought off of a plan so vile that it made my fingers sweat. I googled the phrase 'breast cancer email reminders' and was directed onto a National Breast Cancer Institute page and there it was the grand motherload: a breast self-exam/mammogram monthly email reminder service.

"Hallelujah!"

And so, to kill the element of suspense and ruin this entry, I helpfully subscribed the email reminder service for the ladies that I know of (and whom, unfortunately for you, I have their email addresses) and set the date and day of unleashing the emails from pervert's hell for the upcoming Sunday (present time frame: previous Sunday).

"It didn't went off, did it?"

From the looks of it, it is either that (1) upon receiving the email reminder, you (or your inbox protector) instantly deleted it assuming that it was just another annoying junk mail from an online sex toys store that you are a 'member-for-life' of, or that (2) you received so many junk emails (being the pathetic target market that you are) that you did not think of that monthly breast self-exam email I sent you as a prank so great and so brilliant that the terrorist attacks seem like a cake-baking class gone wrong, or that (3) you know it was a prank email, but had no idea who the sly bastard was.

"If I can't touch 'em, then you have to touch 'em for me."

P/S: Here is when you say "Piece of fuck" to me and realized how sexually demented I am.