[The Julyana-Norell* Theory]
by YBLalat


The 7 Basic Postulates:

1 - Girls are evil (or the Faizal-Fairuz Equation of State Postulate).

2 – The cause of all that is painful and miserable is the presence of one or more girls in a boy’s life.

3 - Boys are the superior gender destined to subdue girls to complete submission and obedience (or the Superior Gender Postulate).

4 – The world is the boys’ playground of power and influence (or the This is a Man’s World Postulate).

5 – Flirting must be done only to reaffirm a boy’s absolute control over girls (or the Self-Assurance Postulate).

6 – Buxom and voluptuous girls are Satan’s tools of distraction.

7 – ‘Love’ before marriage is not ‘love’ at all, but merely sheer whims of instinctive, post-puberty lust (or the Monkey Love Postulate).



The Reduced Ratio Effect:

Let the reduced ratio effect be ‘Err’ and only for a closed system/community of marriageable boys and girls ages 12 and above:

Err = [number of girls]/[number of boys]

If Err is more and/or equal to 4, the boys are forbidden from fighting with or plotting against each other over the control of girls. Each boy is entitled to a maximum amount of 4 girls and the selection process must be done through a compromise treaty among the boys themselves. After that, the voluntary exchange of girls among them is also allowable if it is desired. (Also known as the Sheppard’s Herd Rule).

If Err is less than 4, the Sheppard’s Herd Rule need not be applied. This dire situation may be referred to as the Survival of the Most Handsome. May the luckiest bastard win.



The Mathematical Proof of Postulate #1:

(from Faizal-Fairuz Equation of State)

Girls = Time x Money

(from the common adage of the elders, ‘time is money’)

Time = Money

(combining the 1st equation with the 2nd)

Girls = (Money) x Money = Money^2

(from the common adage of the pious, ‘money is the root of all evil’)

Money = sqrt(Evil)

(combining the previous equation with the former)

Girls = (sqrt(Evil))^2 = Evil

(thus)

Girls = Evil (proven!)


* - the name of the theory has got nothing to do with anyone of the same name that you know of.

[there is more...to be continued soon]