[Therefore, I Am Going to Keep on Reading Them (No Matter What)]

Tulang : Weh, Lalat. Kau eh yang langgan majalah Seventeen ni?
YBLalat : Ha'ah, sekali dengan Teen-Mag tu. Apsal?
Tulang : [Ketawa] Apa ah, ni majalah remaja ah, majalah pompuan.
YBLalat : Aku tahu ah.
Tulang : Habis, apa kau tak nampak ke? Separuh majalah ni je iklan
make-up ngan tampon. Selera yang bukan-bukan ah, Lalat [ketawa].
YBLalat : Bukan itu ah sebabnya aku langgan majalah tu, Tomok.
Tulang : Ish...hei. Aku tahu ah kau takde awek, Lat, tapi... kes kau ni.
[Ketawa] Sedih ah kau ni, sedih ah aku tengok [Tepuk kepala].
YBLalat : Bising ah.
Tulang : [Nyanyi] Hei, Laaa...lat tal-Lalat tal-Lalat [sambung ketawa].

You know what, if it weren't Tulang who raised the issue first, I would have
killed anybody else who did. He's the only one who is actually taking full
(and voluntary) responsibility of managing the influx of 40-something new
students coming to the U this fall. If he were to be zipped up in a body bag,
then who'll go house-hunting in the summer? No way! That's madness!

Okay, okay, I'll explain about the teen magazines already. You just can't wait
to hear about that already, eh?

It all started with a big mistake over the phone. Yes, a mistake. Some lady
from a magazine subscription company in Chicago got hold of my phone number
and asked for 'Mr Mohemed Sherin'. My dumbass roommates, who are not so
experienced in handling such 'telemarketing scam', actually said "Hold on
for a moment, I'll see if he is in". D'oh! [This incident actually led to
the purchase of the latest invention in communication: the Caller-ID!].

I just got back from an Organic Chemistry midterm and was way too exhausted
to even take off my socks. Pyan handed me the phone just as I was in mid-air,
soaring on top of the bed like a fleeting goose on LSD trip. I didn't want to
be bothered, so I eventually said 'Yes' to every question she shot at me. All
of that was with the intention of expediating whatever crap the lady had had
in mind for me. 3 weeks later and voila!: Teen magazines on the doorsteps (OK,
maybe not on the doorsteps but in the mailbox).

I was utterly disgusted by the contents of both magazines. There were nothing
on but young girls in tank tops and cute models in skinny outfit (hehe).
Okay, maybe I wasn't that disgusted. The point is, they were a waste of USD$.
There was nothing printed that really could be benefited in my life, since I
am not that concern with 'what goes with a pink t-shirt and a straw hat?'. I
have never thought of shaving my legs or 'who is cuter: evan or jaron?'.

Please, don't let me start on *NSync and 'how their songs changed my life' part.

Only after a few more weeks that I realized, these magazines really are popular
for a reason. They are a girl's best advice on everything from 'my first crush'
(Aww...how sweet) to 'vaginal itch cream' (Ugh! must they really discuss that?).
All this time, I've read about skin blemishes, prom dresses, first kisses,
sleep-overs and tounge-piercings. On the other side, I've known about tampons,
lesbian girlfriends, bikini rash, body odor and Jessica 'The Virgin' Simpsons.

So, what does all of this come down to, in terms of myself? Well, this may sound
corny, but I kind of got in touch with my feminine side. (Don't laugh! Stop it!)
Yes, yes, go on laughing. Keep on going there, you might crack your voicebox.
What I meant to say was, I understand the opposite sex better now than before.
If I were ever to have a conversation with them (which I file under 'Never'),
then it would be a lot easier for me to relate to them, to emphatize with them.

They really feel that life is hard being the female of the species, having the
burden of motherhood and lover and companionship while trying to establish an
identity of individuality, all at the same time. Added to that, girls just
want to be girls (yahoo!) but sometimes they just can't help themselves from
wanting a shoulder to cry on or letting out sad emotions in university toilets
(hehe).

Sometimes it is hard to be frank and open with girls because there is always
that Satan dude hanging around nearby somewhere, y'know what I mean? If you
have ever watched the movie 'When Harry Met Sally', you would've known Billy
Crystal's famous analogy: "A man and a woman can never be best friends, just
best friends, [because] there is always the sex thing getting in their way".
Oh yeah, I've lived my whole life by that notion.