Thus God Created Penis (Questions on Masculinity and Male Gender Roles)
by YBLalat

Part 1: The Solace Provider

The board was occupied. There were these two young men standing in front of them, one white and one brown. From their loud voices, one was an Indian and the other was an American. Each had a notebook in their hand and their busy fingers writing down from the board the answers to the recent practice test given in class. We arrived a bit later than we had planned; and thus, the board was already occupied. The analytical chemistry lab was in fact the easiest this semester, but the machine was slow. So we had to wait a while longer for the experiment to end, and now we were paying for it.

We put down our bags near the wall of the corridor and sat right in front of them. Still catching our breath from the hurried run to there, we took turn to the water cooler and began calming our nerves down. There was still ample time – it was only a quarter past five o’clock and the real test was more than 12 hours away. After these two bastards had had their share of the posted practice test answer, we’d go up and copy and leave. I placed the back of my head against the wall and stretched my legs forward. She sat upright with her marked lab report on her lap and began sighing.

“What did you got for your GC lab report?”
“Out of 150, right? Just 128.”
“I only got 86.”
“Oh…too bad.”
“Do you think I should go and see her and ask if a regrade is possible?”
“I don’t think she would give you that.”
“Why?”
“It would be unfair to others.”
“But I only need to repair one section of the report to get at least to a hundred.”
“That’s the whole point. You know where you did wrong. That’s unfair.”
“But I still wouldn’t get full mark for that section, or any other part of the report.”
“Okay, okay, sure, you could try asking. No wrong there.”
“You think I should do it?”
“Do what? Ask the TA? No.”
“Why?”
“Because you won’t get what you want. Period.”
“But there’s no wrong asking.”
“Yes, that’s true, but you asking her for a regrade would sever her perception of you.”
“What?”
“You know, you and her and us have a good rapport, at least professional-wise.”
“So?”
“Listen…I am sorry to say this, but asking for a regrade is not possible. It’s not in the class syllabus, and definitely not the lab policy to do so. So, just learn to be content with your score, okay?”
“Easy for you to say, you got 128 out of 150.”
“I wish things were different for you, sincerely, but a regrade is not possible.”
“You are just saying that, you jerk.”
“Asking a TA for a regrade is an act of asking for a favor. Things would get awkward for the both of you.”
“Lalat, you are my lab partner. You ought to support me or at least try to comfort me in things like this, or when I am down. You should know this better.”
“Sorry, but I didn’t know that that comes along with the ‘lab partner’ job requirement.”
“Just think – to whom else do I turn to then, eh?”
“Sorry.”
“Whatever, just forget about it.”
“Sorry, but I don’t think a regrade is possible, even if you are not my lab partner.”
“Shut up.”
“Okay, okay.”
“Come on, let’s copy the practice test answer and go home.”
“Sure…just don’t sulk on it.”
“Why would even sulk, you asshole?”
“Nothing, nothing. It’s just you seem like…”
“Who are you for me to sulk on? And on this petty regrade thing?”
“Sorry.”
“What a jerk!”
“Sorry, okay?”
“Whatever, whatever. All I want to do now is go home, okay?”
“Sure, okay, sorry.”

All throughout the copying of the posted practice test answer from the board, the line when she stated that it was my responsibility to provide solace and support to her and to her cause for a lab report regrade kept echoing back and forth my consciousness. I couldn’t grasp the base of logic of the statement – just because I am her lab partner I need to agree with her opinions? And even when I think it’s completely wrong or futile? Why must I provide her with comfort when she gets lower grades for her lab report or bad experiment results? I still couldn’t figure out where I even enter the whole picture.

Was it because I am guy, and not simply her lab partner per se? Was that a role that I was to automatically assume simply because I am a guy and she, my lab partner, is a girl? Each time someone of the opposite sex is in a deep state of frustration or simply low for life, I need to come in and be all savior-like and cheer her up? And what did she meant by who I was to sulk on? One moment I was supposed to be there for her and then a few seconds later I was blown off to the side like cheap dirt? Am I a default solace provider to gloomy girls just because I have a penis and a set of balls attached to my groin?

I was not informed of this role when God created me: is this even stated in the ‘male human being’ job requirement?