The Special Guest on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (by YBLalat)

[Camera fades in from commercial]
[Band plays background jazz music]
[Kevin strums guitar on chair]
[Audience cheers and applauds]
[Commotion, then silence on Jay’s cue]

Jay: Okay, my next guest is a very special guest, a very funny guy. He is an author by hobby and hails from Malaysia. (Raises left eyebrow) Yes, he is in fact an international student from Malaysia, currently studying in the University of Minnesota. Hey Kevin, (turns to Kevin) do you know where that is?
Kevin: Yeah Jay, of course. I’ve been to Minnesota a couple of times.
Jay: No, you idiot. (Slaps table) I know where Minnesota is. What is wrong with you? (Slaps forehead)

[Audience laughs]
[Kevin and Jay smiles, then silence]

Jay: Malaysia, have you ever heard of such country?
Kevin: No, Jay. (Laughs) No, I don’t know where it is.
Jay: Do you know where they shot the first Survivor? Pulau Tiga?
Kevin: Yeah? (Grimaces)
Jay: Malaysia is the country that they shot that. (Nods head) It’s true.
Kevin: Oh. (Smiles)
Jay: (Turns to camera) My next guest writes a very popular and critically acclaimed personal journal on the Web called Chronic Mass and is known to be a very humorous guy. Oh, and he is just 19 years old by the way. Ladies and gentleman, (extends left hand) please welcome my guest, Mohamad Mohamad-Sharin!

[Guest walks out from backstage]
[Audience applauds]
[Jay gets up and tucks suit]
[Guest and Jay shake hands]

Jay: How are you tonight?
Guest: I’m doing great, Jay.

[Guest and Jay sit]
[Audience quiets down]
[Guest adjusts microphone on shirt]

Jay: I see that you are wearing a rather freakish shirt here. (Points to shirt) What is this, a ‘Super Freak’ shirt, is it?
Guest: I bought this (pinches shirt) when I was accompanying a friend shopping for shoes at the Mall of America. I saw the shirt on display and it just caught my eye. So, here it is. (Taps chest)
Jay: So, talk about yourself.
Guest: I am currently doing my college degree at the U of M in Chemical Engineering. I am a sophomore and a full-time student. Now it is summer session at the U; so, I am not taking any degree-related courses but I am enrolled to a freshman writing class. (Looks at audience) Is there anybody from my U here?

[Audience cheers loudly]
[Guest waves to the audience]
[One guy stands up and sits back]

Jay: Yeah, there is somebody, up there. (Points up)
Guest: Oh that’s my roommate. He is here driving me to the show. What’s up, Pyan? (Waves at the guy) (Laughs)
Jay: Tell me more about this online journal that you are doing so well at.
Guest: It’s basically a journal, you know, like a personal diary or something but it is on the Web. But most of the time, I would post anything at all that I want to share with my readers, not necessarily like a diary entry. I have posted my emails, emails which are (smiles) very special to me, my essays that I wrote as a hobby when I was in high school, anecdotes, jokes and sometimes dialogs in chat rooms between me and my brother or anyone. I just put everything that I could in the space provided, frankly.
Jay: And you do this everyday?
Guest: Yes. (Smirks) Well, almost everyday. (Smiles) I try my best to do it everyday but sometimes I have assignments and chores to do. I am a student most of the day but I allocate about 2 to 4 hours to update my page per day.
Jay: How about the response?
Guest: Oh, the response is great! A few weeks after I started doing this, I reached an all-time record of 45 unique counter hits per day.
Jay: That’s amazing. Congratulations.

[Audience applauds]
[One girl shouts ‘I love you’ from the crowd]
[Jay laughs]
[Kevin smiles]

Guest: (Laughs) Thanks. (Smiles) Today, the number is down to 13 to 15 per day, which is still okay actually. I have several faithful readers visiting my journal and they are the core audience that I think of when I put up new stuff on the page. Most of them are teens or twenty-year-olds who are still studying.
Jay: Do you have some sort of interaction tool with your readers?
Guest: I got a guest book on the page and it’s been doing well too. I know a lot about my readers from replying to their queries and they help me provide feedback. The guest book is a really beneficial thing for writers wanting feedback. Haven’t you visited my page yet? (Smiles)
Jay: I did, just before the show. My house doesn’t have an Internet connection. I am kind of lame that way. But…(Laughs)

[Kevin and audience laugh]
[Guest smiles]

Jay: But I just read your page and I think it’s hilarious and totally revolutionary too. Compared to the other online journals that I read, using the links on your guest book, I think that your journal is very different. Tell me the idea behind that.
Guest: Well I try my best to do things differently and frankly, as a writer, I want to expand my talent. You know, challenge my own ability in writing. I try to erase the border that separates reality and fiction in every that I write to give a new dimension of believability. So far, I think I have been doing really great at it.
Jay: Critics love your effort very much, I read.
Guest: Yes, I think they do but I don’t like to appease anybody. I just want to do what I want to do and not just for praise or recognition. I think that too much admiration will do you harm than good.
Jay: Have you had any problems with the page? I mean maybe with the authority or your readers?
Guest: I’ve had a case of a virtual stalker before. She kept bombarding my guest book every 4 hours or so, keeping me at the tip of my toes. That was definitely no fun. And then, there was this other girl who kept waiting for me to go online via MSN, waiting to chat with me every morning. The first few times are okay but then things get a little creepy. They started to investigate how I look like and where I live and my phone number. It was just too much.
Jay: That is scary. My fans are just pathetic. They don’t even want to go near me. (Laughs)

[Kevin, guest and audience laugh]

Kevin: You got that right, Jay. (Laughs)
Jay: Oh shut up, like you have any. At least I got fans, not like you, Kevin. (Laughs)

[Kevin laughs loudly and slaps forehead]
[Guest smiles]
[Audience laughs]

Jay: So, how did you deal with them?
Guest: I said that I wanted to take 5 days off from writing my journal and I did. They waited still but later, I think they got bored of waiting and gradually start living their own lives. They still visit the page though but not as frequent or as loyal as before and that is good for me. I have more space now and a clearer mind today and my recent entries reflect that effect very much. I am writing better and more focused materials than I have ever had.
Jay: That’s great to hear. Well, I wish the best on your journal writing. Thank you very much for coming here.

[Jay extends hand and guest shake hands]

Guest: You’re welcome.
Jay: Come again soon. (Turns to the camera) If you want to visit Mohamad’s online journal, go to the Web at www.chronic-mass.blogspot.com and read all of the really funny stuff he got there for you. It’s a great page, I promise you. Next up, live musical performances by the Canadian rock band Our Lady Peace. Be right back!

[Band starts playing live music]
[Kevin plays guitar solo]
[Audience cheers loudly]
[Jay whispers to guest]
[Guest smiles]
[Camera fades out to a commercial]